Words Women Use

Thursday thirteen - 14th Edition




(1) Fine

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes

If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing

This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead (Raised Eyebrows)

This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh

This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay

This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks

A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever

Is a women's way of saying SCREW YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

(10) I DON'T CARE

That's the phrase that comes right before she says "WHAT DO YOU THINK" and "IT DOESN"T MATTER" but, like you said, she really DOES care, and it DOES matter, but you need to figure it out, usually with an extended series of suggestions or questions. For example:

Man: "What do you want to eat tonight"

Woman: "I DON"T CARE"..."WHAT DO YOU THINK"Man: "How about pizza?"

Woman: "No, I don't feel like pizza"

Man: "How about chinese?"

Woman: "No, I don't want chinese"

Man: "How about ..."

Woman: "No, I don't want ..."

AND THE QUESTIONS CONTINUE UNTIL SHE SAYS"IT DOESN"T MATTER...why don't we get pizza"

(11) Go ahead(normal eyebrows)
This is not permission either. It means, "I give up!" or "Do what you want because I don't care." It is followed in a few minutes by a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead," followed by "Nothing" and "Fine." She will talk to you for about "Five Minutes" once she cools off.

(12) Please do

This is not a statement, it's an offer. She's giving you a chance to come up with some excuse for the latest dumb thing you've done, i.e., a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. Handle this correctly and you won't get a "That's okay."

(13) Oh
This word, followed by any statement, is trouble. "Oh, let me get that." Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days.

Send this to the men you know, to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology!!! • And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh!!!